Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Prince Edward....is that you?

My brother works for a very rich family.  Part of his work involves attending high profile social events, especially horse racing events.  A few years ago he was asked to drive his boss to the races.
He dropped him off at the royal enclosure in a convertible Bentley and was told to meet him back in a few hours time.  However while he was waiting around chatting he noticed a couple stop and stare at him and start discreetly gesturing over to him. He thought this was odd but didn’t pay it any more attention.  I should point out at this juncture that my brother bears more than a passing resemblance to Prince Edward.  This was during the time Prince Edward was dating Sophie Rhys-Jones so media interest was higher than usual as they were speculating on the couple's possible engagement. 

My brother knew he would have a few hours to spare before he needed to collect his boss from the royal enclosure so had pre-arranged to meet his girlfriend in a posh nearby restaurant for lunch.  When they arrived they were shown to their table and while having a quick drink he noticed the couple he’d seen at the race course come into the restaurant and sit at a nearby table.  “What a co-incidence” he thought, “there’s the couple from the race course who were staring at me earlier,” he said to his beautiful Italian girlfriend.
A few moments later the mysterious couple discreetly took out a camera and started taking photos of him and his girlfriend having lunch.  Finally the penny dropped; convertible Bentley, royal enclosure at Ascot, Prince Edward resemblance; this couple had followed him to the restaurant thinking he was Prince Edward and were now alarmed to find him not meeting Sophie Rhys-Jones but an Italian beauty instead. 
Knowing he was being watched, he realised he could have some fun so furtively looked around and then gave his girlfriend a kiss.  He could hear the camera clicking frantically as he did it.  He then summoned over the waiter and asked him to pass a note he’d written to the excited but very indiscreet camera clicking couple.
The note said – ‘the waiter who delivered this note is one of my bodyguards and the couple to your right are members of MI6.  I saw you take those photos and I’ll ask you to relinquish the film before you leave, if you refuse, they will be forced to take action.’
He folded the note and the waiter took it over to the table.  As soon as they read it, their faces plummeted and they anxiously looked over their shoulders for the MI6 agents. It only took a few moments for the fear to start working and they humbly came over to the table where he was sitting and immediately apologised in broad American accents.  The lady even attempted a curtsy.
“Oh your highness, we’re so sorry.  We were just so thrilled to see y’all and the lovely Sophie, we hope you two get together you’re such a lovely couple.  We just wanted a souvenir photo to show the folks back home”
When he realised they thought his girlfriend was Sophie Rhys-Jones, four words popped into his head... Lambs.To.The.Slaughter. He immediately adopted his best Prince Edward accent and said “Oh yes of course, I completely understand – it’s just one has to be so careful, there’s so much media interest in one at the moment”  he then gestured to his pretend MI6 and royal protection officers ‘everything is fine, no need to take action’ and said “Just called off the dogs, so to speak, don’t worry you and your husband are quite safe”
“Oh thank you your highness” and with that the Americans bowed and curtsied their way out of the restaurant, looking anxiously over their shoulders the whole time.


  1. Wow, can't possibly comment in a PC way and want to avoid generalisation but certainly made me laugh. Also, I did not know the Lambs to the Slaughter expression, love it, one I surely use again in the future! Have an excuse though, not from these shores (nobody's perfect), though don't care about royalties, we ain't got anyone left where I come from tks to Monsieur Guillotine...

  2. Glad to have been of service..pop in any time you need a laugh, the door's always open!

  3. What a classic story. Your poor brother thou if he resembles Prince Edward....

  4. Yes, that must be why I never fancied him!

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  6. You're welcome; there's plenty more where that came from

  7. Er, Nick, I suspect the comment from 'Ayesha' is Spam, no? (Click on her link). You're as gullible as that American couple :) Very funny post, though. Any chance you can post some pics of his beautiful Italian girlfriend?